A Theological treatis on the effects of Baptist Polity (post-revision of the Baptist Faith and Message in 2000)
Chess' confrontational battle of two sides pitted against one another in an aggressive battle for the minds is surely befitting the tenor of the Baptist story. Its arcane rules and patriarchal understandings (i.e. its most important player, upon whose loss the game is lost, is the king) are within the Baptist faith.
Let us explore the Baptisification of chess:
The pawn: Persons of a more liberal persuasion might assert that if Baptists were playing chess, the pawns would be the most versatile players on the board. They move with autonomy and little consideration for the more powerful players above their ranks. However, true Baptist polity is reflected in the pawn's delimited movements within the game. Moving ahead step-by-step with little recourse but to be merely a pawn is the true place of the Baptist layman, wouldn't you agree?
The knight: The knight is most surely the local church pastor, the one moving to the forefront of battle, moving three steps (three for Trinity, of course) and then ducking off to one side, a tactic learned after many years of avoiding congregational conflict.
The rook: The rook is the proper theologian in the Baptist tradition. He moves forth with little regard for what lies in his path (if only the blasted other pieces would get out of his way). The rook defends the board from the heretical presence of the other side.
The bishop: The bishop is the erst-while denominational official, able to transverse the board, but only contrary to the movement of most other players. Like any good convention official, the bishop cares little for the affairs of the pawns and seeks only to protect the court's interests.
The queen: Able to move in any direction, the queen nonetheless protects her king, submitting graciously to his authority. (Of course, we are all well aware of the abhorrent variants of chess common among Baptists from time to time, in which the queen takes priority over the king. That is why we now ask that all Baptist chess players sign off on the Baptist Faith and Message-2000 edition, to ensure that the game is played exactly how the New Testament intended.)
The king: The king is the mightiest player on the board. Recent editions have etched the face of Paige Patterson on this piece to celebrate the ultimate authority of the King over the Baptist fold fighting the opponent pieces. Dr. Patterson is not intended to be confused with Jesus Christ, our true King; however, his visage is more familiar with Baptists today, so the craftsmen have found it easier and less confusing to render his features on the chess piece.
Check and mate!
Dr. Regis L. Gingrich
Professor of Tent Revivalism
Southern Seminary
Louisville, KY